Tom and B'Elanna
by Writesalott
Summary: What if Tom had had no other options than to 'help' B'Elanna when she got Pon Farr? How would that have changed how their relationship started? The last chapter is an alternative version of the workforce episode in season 7 in which Harry and Tom switch places. (This is one of my older stories. Sorry for bad writing. My new stuff is better. :)
1. Chapter 1

"Tuvok must be wrong about his Pon Farr business. I doesn't make any sense."

"It does explain how you've been acting."

"I don't see what's so strange."

"How about starting a fight with a group of armed aliens? Shouting at Neelix? Biting me? If I remember Klingon customs, I biting someone on the face means…"

"I know what it means. All right. So maybe I do feel something some kind of instinct. What am I supposed to do about it?"

"When we get back to the ship," Tom said. "The doctor should be able to help or theres always Vorik?"

"I am not helping that Vulcan pahtk! The idea of bonding with him it's ludicrous."

"What's this?"

"The tremor must of shaken the rocks loose."

"They're in the way," B'Elanna said as she made to fire on them with the alien gun.

"No. Hold it!" Tom said. "We don't know how stable this tunnel is. And energy blast might bring the rest of it down on our heads." He is holding the weapon so she can't fire it.

"Let go!"

"No. I think I should keep this."

"Never pick a fight with a Klingon, Tom."

"I'm not going to fight you, B'Elanna."

"Afraid I'll break your arm? You should be." The gun gets thrown aside and Tom hold only B'Elanna's arm.

"B'Elanna stop it! This isn't about the gun. This is about sex. But that's not going to happen right now."

"Oh I think it is. See, I've picked up your scent, Tom. I've tasted your blood."

"No. No. I'm your friend and I have to watch out of you when your judgment's been impaired. If you left these instincts take you now, you'll hate yourself and me too for taking advantage of you. I won't do that."

"Maybe…" B'Elanna said. "Maybe we should continue separately."

"No."

"You don't know how strong… how hard it is to fight this...urge."

"Are you telling me that I'm impossible to resist?"

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Good. Come on."

"We're almost to the next passage way. Can you make it?"

"Not much of a choice." There is another cave in. They are trapped again.

"We should use that weapon. It's worth the risk now."

"I might agree with you if I still had it. It's buried somewhere under all that."

"What?!"

"Sorry."

"Try to stay calm," Tom said. "I know it's hard."

"You don't know anything! I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin! I need to do something. I can't take this." She charges at him, getting on top of him. He rolls her over and get up off her.

"You've never been hard to get, Tom."

"Well, I'm making an exception. I can't let you do this."

"Oh? Oh but you wish you could. All those invitations to dinner and on the holodeck that way you would stare at me when you thought I wasn't looking and get jealous when I'm with someone else. You can't tell me you're not interested in me."

"You're right," he said. His breathing quickening. "I can't."

"Then don't push me away."

"Oh, believe me, I'd like to," He said. "but I know this isn't really you. You've make it clear that you're not interested and I have to accept that's how you feel, even now."

"No…" B'Elanna said. "No. It isn't. I was just afraid to admit it. You see, I've wanted this for so long." And she kisses him. He can't resist anymore. He is hoping she means everything she says.

"Just let it happen," she said. He tries to pull away again but she is there kissing him again, gently. His arms wrap around her. He knows she probably doesn't mean what she is saying. He can't help but hope some of it is true. But his reason comes back to him. She wouldn't forgive him for his. He pulls away.

"I hope some day you say that to me and mean it," he whispered.

"You would rather let me go insane than help me!" B'Elanna yells.

"You know that isn't true," Tom said.

"Just stay away from me!" She pulls herself into the corner of the cave. Tom goes to the other side of the cave, when he moves back over to B'Elanna she is resting her head. Eyes closed. He wakes her.

"Where are we?"

"Still stuck in the cave I'm afraid."

"The cave? The gallicite- where's my tricorder?"

"No, we're not looking for the gallicite anymore," Tom said, really worried now. "We are trying to get back to the ship, remember?"

"No… I don't."

Tom racked his brains. Did memory lost mean anything particular about her condition? Does he have time to wait for rescue?

"B'Elanna," He said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"I…" She said. "Kinda funny. You said we're not looking for gallicite?"

"That's right." She was deteriorating fast. Think Pairs! What had Tuvok said. Memory lost was the final stage. Yes that was it. If she gets any worse she will have permanent brain damage.

'You aren't just remembering this any certain way for your own benefit are you Tom?' He asked himself. He looked at her sitting there confused and in pain and knew he wasn't.

It was either help her or lose her and he knew the latter wasn't an option no matter how it ruined their friendship. She would probably never talk to him again but at least she would be alive.

"B'Elanna," He said sitting down next her. "Do you remember when you gave me this?" He pointed to her cheek.

"Yes," she said with conviction.

"Do you remember why?"

"Yes." He leaned in and kissed her. Her whole body immediately seems to come back to itself. She had him on the ground in moments. She could feel his sudden acceptance and didn't care about the reasons behind it. She was pulling off his shirt and drug her nails into his back. It hurt quite a lot but Tom didn't stop. He started to get into it. She pulled off his pants and had him in her hands. He felt his body respond as she mounted him. Forplay was not what she was interested in. Before long they were bruised from the hard ground but he didn't really care at the moment. His world was a wonder of sensation. When they were both done just moments later they lay back panting. B'Elanna fell asleep almost at once. Tom got up and scanned her with his tricorder. Her brain chemistry seemed to be returning to normal. Vital signs stable. Physically she would be fine. Emotionally was a whole other matter. He lay back and tried to come to turns with the fact the girl of his dreams would probably never talk to him again.

B'Elanna awoke an hour or so later to find Tom asleep. She looked at him for a moment taking in his appearance and hers. Then it all came back to her. They had just had sex. Her mind was feeling clearer and her heart beating at a normal rhyme again. At a closer look she saw huge red marks on Tom's back and bruises all over him and with horror realized she had been the one to inflict them.

They didn't speak again until they were rescued quite some time later and then they only spoke only to check in with Chakotay. They learned that Vorik has managed to resolve his Pon Farr with the help of a holographic substitute back on the ship.

Once back on the ship B'Elanna was sent to sick bay where the Doctor said she was doing fine. All traces of the Pon Farr were gone. He guessed how and so had everyone else. It had been rather obvious when they are returned to the ship. B'Elanna was just glad no one was bringing it up.

Over the next few days B'Elanna kept to herself. She was embarrassed and ashamed.

Tom wasn't surprised when B'Elanna didn't talk to him but nevertheless he was sad. Before he had thought of her often now she was all he thought about. He thought of the curve of her waist. He remembered the feeling of her nails in his back. But most of all he wondered if anything she had said while under the Pon Farr's influence she had actually meant.

After a week of letting her cool down he thought she might be okay to talk to him a little. He wasn't expecting much but complete silence wasn't going to work on a ship this small forever.

He was standing outside her quarters. He rang the bell.

"Enter." The door opened and he stepped inside.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she said back softly.

There was a pause before Tom said. "I was wondering if we could talk?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I just wanted to ask," Tom said, "I mean I need to know."-he paused-"Did you mean any of what you said down in that cave?"

"I-" she said. "I don't know." Tom's face fell.

"I mean," B'Elanna started again. "I can't remember everything I said. I mostly remember the feelings."

"You said you wanted... us?"

"Is that why you let me," she trailed off. "Ravish you?"

He laughed. "Thats a good word but no that's not why. You were fading. I couldn't let you die."

"Did it get that close?" she asked.

He nodded. Still waiting for the answer to his question.

"I can't give you an answer," she said finally. "I don't know." Angry flashed across his face.

"Well that's just great!" he said. All his anger and frustration over the last week was spilling out of him.

"So what I am supposed to do with that," he said. "I can't get you out of my head. My previous affection it seemed didn't escape your notice but now. I…" He ran his hands over his face to try and calm himself.

"I am so sorry." she said.

"Well I guess that answers my question," Tom said. "I won't keep you any longer." He leaves and B'Elanna feels horrible. She was starting to think she had meant that she said down in the cave but she had shown such a different side to herself and hurt Tom so much she was too scared to do anything about it.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'll bet you it's an anodyne relay." Tom said. It was a few weeks later. After a few days to cool off they are managed to get back at least part of their previous friendship. It wasn't totally the same but it was something.

"No way. Plasma conduit," B'Elanna replied.

"Relay. I'm telling you I checked the conduit network."

"My point exactly. You're not an engineer," B'Elanna said.

"I'll bet you," he says.

"Name it.

"KIingon holodeck program." he said.

"Let's see who's right," B'Elanna said as she goes to see if its the Plasma conduit or the anodyne relay.

"Well.?"

"Well… go ahead and gloat," she said.

"The anodyne replays- who would've guessed?"

"Just a shot in the dark."

"And it hit the bull's eye," He said. "Tonight you pay up. Holodeck two Klingon martial arts program. No getting out of it this time."

"You're really full of yourself aren't you"

"I'll see you tonight," tom says, "BYOB."

"What?"

"Bring your own Bat'leth."

"Where are you going?" Tom said. They had just left the holodeck. "You were going great. You were in the perfect position to deliver the deathblow. All you had to do is follow through. Come on. Let's try again."

"Don't push me, Tom."

"Huh! I am not pushing you. I'm encouraging you."

"To do what?!"

"Try something new." He said.. "This martial arts program is the best workout I've ever had. No, it's more than that. Working with a bat'leth is an art. You have to use your mind and body, your movements.."

"Tom, you may find all this kinglon stuff really fascinating, but I don't. I'm not going to waste my time trying to disembowel a bunch of holographic monsters. I only came down here because you tricked me into that stupid bet." As she spoke she waved the blade around. It was getting dangerous close to Tom's face.

"Would you watch it! You could take somebody's head off with that thing."

She holds the blade straight. "I have tried this and not I am finished. Got it?"

He takes a step forward. "Look if you don't like the program, that's fine, but why do you always have to get so hostile?"

"I am not hostile!" she yells.

And alien appears right in front of them putting an end to their conversation.

Later in engineering B'Elanna and Harry are trying to figure out where these aliens are coming from. B'Elanna finds herself wondering if anyone else agrees with Tom.

"You don't think I'm hostile, do you?" B'Elanna asks.

"I, uh…" Harry said. "Wouldn't describe you that way, no."

"I know that I have a temper, but that doesn't mean that I'm always hostile, does it?"

"No, of course not."

"I am forthright; I speak my mind. That is very different from being hostile."

"Very different," Harry says softly.

"And if someone described me that way, they'd be way off the mark, wouldn't they?" she stands up and turns toward harry. He looks up.

"Way off." He stands.

"Then why do you look like you're afraid for your life?"

The computer finished its scan just then and Harry is saved from having to answer by being teleported off the ship by aliens.

Later when all of the crew has been teleported off the ship into a warm sunny artificial habitat B'Elanna has been given the task of altering the Doctor's mobile emitter to scan the surrounding area.

"How's your optical resolution," B'elanna asks the doctor.

"The caption sent me down to get an update." Tom said as he arrived on the scene.

"Well, we're just about ready. I've reconfigured the doctor's optical sensors. And as soon as they're aligned, he should be able to detect the microwave signature of the portals."

"Then I can begin my new career as a tricorder," the doctor said.

"About the other day," B'elanna said while facing the doctor. "I might have been a bit… oversensitive, uh, about the Klingon program."

"Don't worry about it," Tom says.

"That should just about do it," B'elanna said about the doctor's modifications. "I think we can start scanning now."

"Good. I'll tell the caption," Tom says. "um.. about the program… I-I didn't mean to push you."

"I know. You didn't. And I didn't mean to, um, lash out at you like that."

The doctor started to explain the technical side of things. "A typical defensive reaction using an aggressive outburst as a shield against a perceived emotional threat."

"That says it alright," Tom agrees.

"Oh that's funny coming from you," B'Elanna said.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Well you're hardly one to talk about being defensive."

"And why is that exactly?"

"Well, you just pretend that nothing bothers you and then you turn everything into a joke."

"That's a valid observation. Defense mechanisms come in many forms." The doctor said.

"That's ridiculous," Tom said. "I am an easygoing person." –she laughs—" who is just trying to be friendly to someone who is obviously terrified of having someone care about them."

"Fear of intimacy is common indication of low self-esteem. Perhaps if you stopped to analyze the root cause, you might…" B'elanna mutes the doctor.

She leans forward till she is right up close to Tom, "If you find it so difficult to care, then why keep trying?"

"That's a good question," Tom said. "I think I'll stop wasting my time." Tom leaves the room. Who was he kidding. He didn't just wanna be her friend. Prolonging his...whatever it was is only hurting him.

B'elanna takes some deep breaths and the doctor demands to be unmuted.

Tom and B'elanna get assigned to deal with the current crisis together personal issues aside. To escape the aliens following them they run into a cold habitat. There previous experience with his race being that they hate the cold.

"Maybe coming in here wasn't such a good idea," B'Elanna said.

"Let's hope it's worse for them than it is for us." Tom said.

Tom and B'Elanna continued farther into the cold tunnels.

"They can't last much longer," B'Elanna says. "We've just got to stay one step ahead of them."

"We don't want to get too far away from the portal. Maybe we should find a place to hide." Tom sees a cave and B'Elanna follows him. They sit down.

"Let me see the phaser," B'Elanna said. He hands it over but she drops it.

"My hands are completely numb," she said.

"Here," he said and put his hands over hers. "I would have thought all that hot Klingon blood would have kept you warm." He breathed over both their hands to warm them. Even in the chaos Tom can't help but be effected by holding her hands.

"Shows how much you know about Klingons," she said. "They have much less tolerance for the cold than humans do."

"Really? I thought that was Cardassians."

"No they just complain about it more."

"Better?" he asks about her hands. He hands her the phaser again.

She repairs the phaser and the last of their pursuers collapses from cold.

"Now let's get out of here before we freeze to death," Tom said.

"I didn't think we went this far from the portal," B'Elanna said, after a few minutes of moving from their cave.

"I don't think I can go on any farther." She slipped and doesn't get up.

"You have to keep moving." He half carried her a few more steps.

"Oh, I'm so sleepy," B'elanna sits down.

"No, B'Elanna, get up!"

"No, you go on. I'm just going to rest here."

"If you do that, you'll die."

"No, I'll be fine. I just have to close my eyes for a minute."

"Oh, no, I am not going to let you do this." He pulls her up. "On your feet now, Torres. That's an order!"

"You can't give me orders. We're the same rank." She says while he half carried her on.

"Forget rank," Tom yells. "I am not letting you die here like this." She almost falls and he catches her.

She looked up touch for a moment before she remembered all she wanted was to sit down and stop moving.

"On your feet, now!" he said and holds her up. "Come on. You been wanting to take a swing at me for days. Now's your chance."

"Why do you fight so hard," she said. "Let me go." He ignored her.

"You will keep moving or do I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you out?"

"Don't even try it." She said mad at the indignity of it. He grabs her with the intention of carrying her out of there. Suddenly they are back in the human habitat. Janeway beamed them out.

The crisis is resolved and the crew returns to the ship.

Now back on the ship Tom is on the holodeck enjoying a beach resort program. B'Elanna slowly walks up to him and sits in the chair next to him.

"Nice day," she said.

"Beautiful," he agreed.

"Things were pretty chilly there for a while."

"I guess they were," he said, not sure if she meant more than just the temperature.

"Feels good to be warm again," she said. She closes her eyes; he looks over at her and thinks of all the things he would like to tell her but keeps his mouth shut.

"Yeah," he says. "It sure does." He sighs. Deciding to leave the moment as it was. Nothing had changed.


	3. Chapter 3

B'Elanna was almost awake. In her half-conscious state she thought it odd to wake up so slowly. The computer should have been the one to wake her. As she became more and more awake she realized she was late. She got up quickly and went to her sonic shower. As soon as she turned it on there was a bang and a truly horrible sound seemed to fill every part of her surroundings. She quickly turned it off. When her head was no longer spinning she checked and found that the acoustic converter had burst.

This was not the start to a great day she thought with a growl as she started to repair her shower.

Once the repairs were complete and she got her shower, there was no time to get breakfast before her shift. She ranted to no one as she got dressed and left.

"Sorry I'm late," B'Elanna said as she came into engineering. "Are we ready to start the fuel cell overhaul?"

"Sorry Lieutenant but we don't have the people today."

"What why?"

"Smith and Parsins called in sick."

B'Elanna sighed. This was not going to be her day.

And she was right. It wasn't long before another problem presented itself.

"Now what!" B'Elanna yelled. She could hear the leaking plasma coolant coming from somewhere.

"There has been a rupture in the coolant injector," Vorik said.

"I can see that! Why haven't you sealed it off?"

"I am attempting to do so." The alarm stopped.

"That's better," B'Elanna said and turned away to deal with new problems. Vorik followed her.

"Lieutenant I have an idea," he said as he followed her to the warp core. "Perhaps it would be advisable to reconfigure the coolant assembly. That would give us greater control over the pressure admissions."

"You are probably right and tomorrow we can do it first thing, but not today." B'Elanna wasn't about to start such a complicated project with today's bad luck.

"I don't understand why wait until tomorrow when today would be a much more—"

"Not today Vorik!" B'Elanna moved away to check another control panel.

"Good morning!" B'Elanna looked up. Tom was here.

"Here is the helm control evaluation you wanted." He handed her the padd.

"Thank you."

"So have you decided if you are going through with it?" Tom asked.

"I have and I'm not," B'Elanna said. "Today hasn't started out very well and the last thing I need is to get involved in some obscure Klingon Ritual."

"You were the one who suggested it!"

"I know, and for one sentimental minute I thought I would go through with it but not anymore." B'Elanna didn't want to talk about this anymore. She moved away, but Tom followed her.

"Course not," he said. "Wouldn't want to get too sentimental."

"Look I have just had a really bad day," B'Elanna hadn't noticed she was raising her voice. "and I am in a really bad mood. None of which will be helped by participating in the Klingon Day of Honor."

Tom backed off. She had to admit this guy was smarter than he looked.

"Okay," he said. "But if you change your mind, you know where to find me." He left.

No sooner was he gone than Chakotay showed up with even worse news: Seven of Nine wanted to work in engineering. Could her day get any worse?

When Seven was done working in engineering and the thoron particle's the caption had asked for were sorted out, B'Elanna went to the Mess Hall for a break.

Neelix tried to help. He wanted to be her verbal punching bag which was very sweet but she couldn't accept. In the end he changed her mind though. She went to the holodeck after that, but it didn't go well, kind of like the rest of her day. Twenty minutes later she was in her quarters too mad to cry.

The door rang.

"Come in."

"I tried to find you before but you were on the holodeck," Tom said.

"That's right," B'Elanna said from the sofa. She was holding a blanket.

"You know you left it running," Tom said. "And there was a Klingon there who didn't look too happy."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was nursing a whale of a black eye. He looked like he had a run in with someone having a really bad day."

"That's very funny," B'Elanna said coolly.

"So how'd it go?" he said walking away from the door and toward her slightly.

"It didn't. Do you mind if we talk about something else?"

"As a matter of fact I do," Tom said, sitting down next to B'Elanna on the couch. "You have been like a spinning cobra all day and it's getting boring. We designed that holodeck program together and I think you own me the courtesy of telling me what happened."

"It was ridiculous, meaningless, posturing. Honor. Dishonor. What does it matter?"

"It matters because it's part of who you are! You've been running away from that your whole life."

"Who are you to tell me that!"

Tom got up. "I care about you. But if you're going to keep pushing me away there's no point in my staying around is there?"

"Fine! Just leave me alone!"

"Oh don't worry. If this is the way you treat people who try and get close to you, you'll be alone alright." He left. B'Elanna felt worse, if that was possible.

She just sat there. She felt like she would fall down if she stood up, but of course she had to go back to work.

To her surprise she did stumble when she got up. She actually fell over.

It was probably stress, she thought. A product of her horrible day, but just to be sure she got out her tricorder and scanned herself, being too stubborn to go to sickbay.

As she read the results dozens of reasons for them raced through her mind, other than the obvious one.

But as she re-did the scan and asked the computer to interpret the results she knew the obvious answer was the only one it could be.

It didn't feel real. And she was now late for work for the second time that day so she left.


	4. Chapter 4

"Computer, prepare to eject the warp core," B'Elanna said as she left. "Authorization TorresOmega593"

They ran out of engineering as fast as they could. Once the door closed on them B'Elanna said, "Computer, Eject the warp core" and collapsed onto the floor.

"Torres to Janeway."

"Go ahead."

"We've dumped the core."

She sighed. "Welcome to the worst day of my life."

But there was no time to be tired. They were dead in space. Janeway wanted impulse back online and for someone to retrieve the core.

"Tom," Janeway said. "Take a shuttle and find the core. See if you can tracker it back to Voyager."

"Yes Mam."

"It will be unstable. It should be repaired before he tries to put a tracker beam on it."

"Well then you go with him," Janeway said. "Do whatever you have to just get it back here in one piece."

Great so now she would be stuck in a shuttle with Tom for hours when all she wanted to do was sleep.

"We are getting near some random ion turbulence." B'Elanna said. They were in the shuttle on their way to get the core back.

"I'll change course to avoid it," Tom said.

"I wonder what else can go wrong today?" B'Elanna sighed. "If we get this core back I am going right to bed and sleeping straight through till tomorrow. Get this day over with."

"Well look at it this way," Tom said. "How much worse can it get. Having to dump the warp core has to be the low point of any day."

"Maybe it's me," B'Elanna said. "Maybe I've asking for this trouble somehow."

"Or maybe it's just a string of bad luck."

And then they found the core and again bad luck struck. The Kataty, a poor refuge race they had helped earlier that day had the core and were trying to tractor it without stabilizing it.

They rival ship ignored their warnings and B'Elanna was forced to try disrupt their tractor beam which didn't worked and blow up their shuttle. They beamed into space just before it exploded. So there she was floating weightless in the middle of nowhere with Tom Paris.

"Paris to Voyager. Do you read me? Please respond."

"It's no use," B'Elanna said. "The com systems in these suits won't carry that far."

"When they get the impulse engines repaired they'll come looking for us."

"Well I don't plan of just drifting here hoping someone will come along and rescues us. There must be something we can do."

"Agreed. If we could interplex the com systems in both suits we might be able to create a phrased carrier wave. Voyager would read the signature and know it's from us."

"Good idea. Let me access your controls."

Tom used the roping holding them together to pull himself close enough for B'Elanna to reach his suit's controls.

"This would be a lot easier if I had a hypo spanner. Hold still."

B'Elanna clicked away at the bottoms on his arm.

"Okay," B'Elanna said. "I'm ready to annicate the carrier wave."

"Ah!" The carrier wave was playing in Tom's suit. The noise was not pleasant.

"Sorry!"

She redirected it.

"Better?"

"Yeah, let's hope it's still that strong when it gets to Voyager."

They stayed in silence for a long time with only the sound of their own breathing for company. In the dead of space silence has a whole new meaning.

B'Elanna found she didn't like her thoughts very much while she was silent.

"This isn't anything like the simulations we had at the academy. They felt peaceful. Like floating in the womb. But right now I'm feeling a little sick to my stomach," B'Elanna said slowly.

"You dropped out too soon. In the third year theses a six week course of actual space walks so you can get used to them."

"I never would have lasted to the third year. If I hadn't dropped out they would have asked me to leave."

Tom laughed lightly. "I wish I had known you then."

"You'd have hated me."

"I can't imagine a time I wouldn't have found you fascinating."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes. He was always saying stupid stuff like that. She was saved having to reply by something banging into them. It rattled them is the small amount of metal, glass and fabric that was all that separated them from nothingness.

"What the hell was that?" Tom said.

"More ion turbulence."

"Warning oxygen level at 114 milibars," said computer in Tom's suit.

"My oxygen supply is leaking!"

Tom's breathing becomes desperate.

"Warning oxygen level at 93 milibars."

"We'll have to share mine," B'Elanna said.

Starfleet space suits are designed for sharing oxygen. It was a simple matter of redirecting the flow and plugging in her tank.

"Are you getting air now?"

Tom's breathing evens out.

"Yes. Much better. Thanks."

B'Elanna worked the controls on the arm of her suit. She looked worried.

"What's wrong?" Tom said, noticing.

"The turbulence must have damaged my suit too. I should have at least 24 hours' worth of oxygen but there's only about a half hour left."

"I'm lowering the oxygen ratio," Tom said. "That should give us a few more minutes."

"I'm feeling kinda groggy."

"Oxygen deprivation."

"And you're lowering it!"

"We have to try and make it last as long as possible."

"It's ironic," B'Elanna said. "Isn't it?"

"What?"

"Today, the Day of Honor, is the day I'm gonna die."

"We are not going to die," Tom said. "Would you stop talking like that."

"We have to face up to it Tom."

"There's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Well now's the time," B'Elanna said though she had a pretty good idea of what Tom wanted to talk about.

"What are we doing?"

"Dying remember?"

"No, I mean us."

He could tell this was making her uncomfortable but he had to ask.

"We eat lunch together, we design holodecks programs together, we talk, we work together, is that really all you want?" Tom asked.

"I just…" B'Elanna struggled for words. "I… Can't we please talk about something else?" Her voice sounded so pathetic Tom almost agreed.

"I'm sorry but no," he said. "I can't ignore it anymore."

"You can be such a self-absorbed pig sometimes, Tom."

"Flattery won't get you any more oxygen," Tom said, joking to hide his pain.

"There I go again," B'Elanna said. "Pushing you away. You were right about me. It's what I do. Push people away."

"Well it's a sure fire way of not getting hurt," Tom said.

"What a coward I am."

"Shhh," Tom tried to comfort her. He leaned in and rested his helmet on hers. They just stayed like that. Not speaking. If she couldn't talk about it she couldn't talk about it. He was done pushing her.

He closed his eyes. There was only dark but as his mind faded the dark became colour and the colour became shape and the shape became form and the form was his quarters on Voyager.

"Tom is that you?"

He turned. B'Elanna was here with him. She was in a rather stunning night gown. She was walking toward him. His quarters seemed to blur as if she was coming into focus.

"Welcome home," she said. And she kissed him. It wasn't a deep kiss, more like a kiss hello. As if it was no big deal they were kissing. His things and hers were around the room. Not his quarters. Their quarters.

Tom was relaxed. This wasn't weird. He turned and followed her. The room he entered was a bedroom and she was lying on her back in their bed. He went to lay next to her and put his hand over her swollen belly. She put her hand on his face.

"Tom." She said.

"Mmm…" he said, half awake.

"Tom wake up."

"Why?"

"Come on open your eyes!"

B'Elanna's hand became hard and cold. He pulled his face away from the inside of his helmet and opened his eyes.

"Warning oxygen level at 104 milibars."

"That's it," B'Elanna said. "Open your eyes."

"Warning oxygen level at 87 milibars."

"I was having a dream," Tom said, groggily.

"There is something I have to say."

"Me too," Tom said. "I'm glad the last thing I'll see is you."

"I've been a coward about everything," B'Elanna said. "Everything that really matters."

"No." Tom shook his head. "You're being a little hard on yourself."

"No, I'm gonna die without a shred of honor and for the first time in my life that really bothers me. So I have to tell you something. I—"

"Warning oxygen levels at 71 milibars."

"I have to tell you the truth."

"About what?"

"I— I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That I do want more… that I am falling in love with you."

"You picked a hell of a time to tell me," he said and they both passed out.


	5. Chapter 5

The doctor watched as his patients materialize. Once fully materialized he pulled off their helmets and with some help got them on to bio-beds. They were both unconscious but stable. After getting the rest of their space suits off the crewmen left and the doctor was free to check for permanent damage due to lack of oxygen.

Tom was fine. He would wake up of his own accord soon.

He moved on to B'Elanna whose scan relieved to him what she had learned that morning.

"Hmm…" Tom said as he woke up.

"And how are we feeling Lieutenant Paris?"

"Like I have done my skull a serious wrong and it is punishing me."

"Ah yes well that is oxygen deprivation and it will pass."

"That doesn't help me now does it?"

"No it doesn't."

B'Elanna stirred. Tom's gaze shifted.

"What's going on?" B'Elanna said.

"Ah you're awake too Lieutenant."

"My head is killing me!"

"Again that is due to oxygen deprivation," the doctor said. He turned to Paris, "You are discharged Lieutenant. There were no lasting effects."

"Great," he said and moving slowly got up and made for the door. "You coming B'Elanna?"

"I need a word with her," the doctor said turning to her. "Something came up on your scan."

B'Elanna grimaced. "If it's what I think it is than he will find out eventually. You might as well tell him now. He has a right to know, I guess."

"What's going on?" Tom said warily but walked closer.

"B'Elanna is pregnant," the doctor said. B'Elanna grimaced again.

Tom was speechless, but then a dream came back to him and it didn't seem so strange.

"But I am afraid to tell you," the doctor said. "There maybe something wrong with the fetus."

"What?" Tom said. "Why?"

"Due to the extremely unusual chemical state your body was in during the Pon Farr when you conceived, key proteins never formed. And also your per-longed oxygen deficiency at such a key time hasn't helped."

"The Pon Farr?"

"Yes," the doctor said. "From the unusual chemical state and the timing I can state with confidence the fetus was conceived during the incident a few months ago when you contracted the Pon Farr Lieutenant."

"I will have to conduct more tests to be sure."

"Can you…" B'Elanna asked. "I mean is there a chance it would be okay?"

"Not quite sure," the doctor said. "I will need to have you come back tomorrow Lieutenant. It's ironic don't you think. I mean the Vulcan Pon Farr was what allowed you to conceive so easily but is also created the problem."

"Can we do the test now?" B'Elanna asked.

"I have to prepare for it and your body need time to recover. Tomorrow is best."

"Alright," B'Elanna said. She was too tired to argue.

B'Elanna made to leave. Tom followed.

They were both so tired they went straight to her quarters because they were closer and passed out on her bed.

The computer woke them less than eight hours later.

"I forgot to tell the computer I wasn't going into work," B'Elanna said sleepily. She told the computer to cancel her wake up and rolled over. Neither of them got any more sleep however and within a half hour they were both up.

"B'Elanna," Tom said and she turned away from her coffee to face him. He walked all the way up to her so they were just a foot apart.

"I realize that you were dying and deoxygenated and everything," Tom said. "But did you mean it?"

"Yes, but I don't expect you to reciprocate or do anything, in fact let's just forget that this ever—"

"Don't be stupid, B'Elanna." He leaned in and kissed her deeply. Pressing her up against the wall. Her eyes closed.

"Forgetting is not an option," he said. "And"—he moved his hand over her flat stomach.

"What do you want to do about-" he looked down at his hand.

"I don't know," B'Elanna said. "It's all too much. I just wanna wait and see what the Doctor says."

"I don't know what we are to each other now B'Elanna but I am here."

"What do you mean." She looked up at him.

"I mean if you have this baby I want to be involved. I never wanted to be like my father, absent. And his child's conception is what saved your life. I won't regret it."

She was floored. And suddenly she wasn't sure what she wanted. The baby to be okay or for the doctor to tell her it wasn't possible.

"I didn't know you felt that way." He leaned in and kissed her gently this time.

"Then let me make myself perfectly clear." He kissed her again. Her eyes closed and she forget where she was.

"Doctor to Lt. Torres." The Doctor's voice brought her sharply back to reality.

"Torres here."

"I am ready whenever you are, Lieutenant?"

"Be there as soon as I can. Torres out."

B'Elanna finished her breakfast and got dressed. Since this was her quarters Tom just put on what he had worn the day before.

"Do you want me to-I mean I could come with you."

"No that's okay," B'Elanna said. "It's just a test right."

"Okay," Tom said. "If that's what you want. Let me know when you know."

"See you after then," she said and made to leave.

"Not so fast," Tom said. He put his arms around her from behind and turned her around to face him.

"What?"

He kissed her and followed her out.


	6. Chapter 6

Tom killed some time in his quarters. He got himself cleaned up and was just getting into some light reading. He left himself dooze off. It was barely noon but nevertheless fall asleep he did.

Tom could hear his com badge going off. It was mixing with his dream and thereby making him aware he was dreaming. As he became more awake he noticed that his dream had left him with a feeling of loss.

Ah well it was just a dream after all, Tom thought as he answered his com badge. At first Tom thought it was just an accident since nothing but inaudible sound came out. Then with a shock of terror he recognized the maker of the sound.

"B'Elanna!"

The only answer was continued sobs.

"I am coming over. Stay put," Tom said and he turned the com badge off, jumped out of the reading chair, dressed asked the computer to locate her and was out the door.

He rang the bell and the door to her quarters opened.

And there was B'Elanna curled up on the sofa, clutching her chest and bawling.

Tom moved to sit next to her and put his arms around her; she grabbed him tight.

Tom wasn't sure if she could speak through her sobs so he just sat there and held her tight while she cried into his shoulder. Thinking all the while he should have gone with her no matter what she said.

And slowly her vibrating body calmed and her breathing evened out. When Tom thought she could answer, he said "I should have come with you!"

"No it's okay," B'Elanna said. "I am just being silly."

"No you're not," Tom said. "I am pretty sure I can guess what the doctor said."

"The doc warned me my hormones would be out of whack for a while," B'Elanna said. "After after…"

"After you lost the baby," Tom finished for her.

B'Elanna nodded.

"Thank you for calling me," Tom said.

B'Elanna realizing she was still in Tom's arms and moved away to sit on her own. She looked at him closely. Her tears drying.

"You're disappointed aren't you?" She said.

"I think so," he said. "This is all just so new."

"Why?" She said. "I never thought you were the paternal type."

He smiled. "Me neither," he said. "It's just with you I think it would be worth it." He had to say it. It was now or never.

"Even before the pon farr I liked you," he continued. "But after I couldn't think of anything else. My whole body seemed to vibrate with excitement just being in the the same room as you. I am so aware of you. I can't turn it off and I can't deny it anymore."

She was stunned. He was now standing right in front of her holding her face in his hands.

"I need you," he said. "I can't be just your friend anymore. Trying to just be your friend since that night in the cave has been hard but now I think it is impossible."

"How come you never told me before?"

"I asked you if you had meant what you said in the cave remember?"

"And I said I wasn't sure." She said softly.

"And then you pretended like everything was the same. Like didn't know what it felt like to-" He broke off not sure how to describe what had happened in that cave. "What was a suppose to do? Tell you I loved you when you clearly didn't?"

He said it so casually she almost didn't notice it.

"You love me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Haven't you been listening?"

"Please," he said. "Let's stop messing around with our hearts. Just be mine and I'll be yours." He smiled.

"Is it really that simple."

He leaned in and whispered 'yes' in her ear.


	7. WorkForce with a twist

**Alternative version of how Workforce Season 7 of Voyager would have turned out. What if Harry had stayed on Voyager and Tom had been on the away mission.**

* * *

Tom already missed them and it had been a week. He didn't know how he was going to get through the next two weeks.

"Could this mission end earlier by any chance Commander?"

"Nope. Sorry," Chakotay said. "I was actually surprised you agreed to come at all. Harry seemed willing enough."

"I didn't really want to come but B'Elanna would hear none of it."

Chakotay laughed. "I wonder why."

"Oh I know why," Tom said. "Apparently I smother her when I get worried."

"And why would you be worried?"

"If you were married to a pregnant Klingon who is never careful you would worry too."

Chakotay laughed even harder but didn't bring it up again and Tom despite his best efforts did survive three weeks without his wife.

Chakotay and Neelix were sick of him fretting by the time they got to the rondevu coordinates but when Voyager wasn't there. Tom stopped caring about what they thought or where he was or why he wasn't somewhere else. He panicked.

Tom paced inside the brig. He knows he went too far but he can't bring himself to regret his actions. Chakotay could have done alot worse to him then lock him in the brig. Court martial for starters. Not knowing where B'Elanna and his baby were let alone knowing if they were even safe was eating him alive. But Chakotay was right he was no use if all he could do is panic.

"Chakotay to Paris."

"Paris here."

"We found Voyager. Docking now. Report to the bridge." The forcefield around his cell went down. He felt the shuttle land.

On his way to the bridge, Tom didn't see another living soul.

Neelix and Chakotay were on the bridge and the Doctor. Two environmental suits were abandoned in the corner.

"We just got life support working," Chakotay told Tom. "The doctor has told us that the crew abandoned ship. Seeing as you are, as you have already informed me, 'highly motivated' can you report to astrometrics and search for our missing crew?"

"Thank you." Tom said and left without a word.

Three days later he found them.

"Paris to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"I found them. They are on an M class planet three days away at maximum warp."

"I'm on my way."

Three days later they arrive and Chakotay talks to the planets governing body. They know nothing about the abduction and said most of the people they mentioned have excellent jobs at the main power facility. They even asked a few of these people if they used to live on a spaceship named Voyager but they had no idea what Voyager was.

"Can I join the away mission?" Tom asked.

"I know you want to Tom," Chakotay said. "But it looks like our crew doesn't remember who we are. B'Elanna won't remember who you are which means you knowing her might freak her out. Someone has to stay with the ship."

"Don't worry Tom," Neelix said. "If I find her I will try and bring her back to you." He smiled.

"Thanks. At least I know she is alive, which is more than I had three days ago."

"I need an emergency beam out," Chakotay said over the comms. "Lock on to Neelix's signal and transport straight to sick bay."

Tom did and headed straight to sick bay the second he could leave the bridge.

He entered sickbay to find his very pregnant wife being held down by the doctor and Neelix.

"We're friends. We're trying to help you," Neelix said trying to hold B'Elanna down on the bed with the help of the doctor.

"No," B'Elanna yelled. "Don't touch me."

"I'm going to have to sedate her," The doctor said.

"No," Tom jumped in. "She hates that. Just let me talk to her."

The doctor gave him a dubious look but motioned to Neelix to let her go.

B'Elanna sat up on the biobed on full alert. She jumped down off the bed all the while her gaze shifting around the room. She seemed to be taking in the exit and the locations of the consoles where she would be able to access information.

"Stay back!" she said. Neelix and the doctor did so but Tom moved one step closer.

"You are safe, B'Elanna." Tom said slowly. "I am not going to hurt you."

"How do you know my name?"

"The better question is how do I know your mother's name is Miral. Your father abandoned you when you were about twelve years old after a really horrible family camping trip. You blamed yourself for him leaving even though it was never your fault. You hate everything Kinglon even though it was your human parent that failed you, not your Klingon one. You love banana pancakes and a good challenge. You are an amazing engineer and a loyal friend."

"Who are you?" She said. She had stopped taking in the room and was starting at Tom. Though her memories of being here were gone they are left her memories of earth and her personality in tact. She knew all Tom had said was true.

"Let's just say I am someone who cares about you," Tom said.

"I don't even know you!"

"You have had your memories altered."

"For all I know that could be some elaborate lie to make me trust my kidnappers."

"You're not a prisoner B'Elanna."

"So I am free to go?"

"Yes," Tom said, Neelix and the doctor looked at him non-plused. "But if you wish to return to that planet you will have to take me with you."

"Why would I take you with me?"

"The better question is why would I want to go." He smiled. "B'Elanna please just relax and I will explain."

B'Elanna seemed to lower her guard somewhat. Her stance relaxed and she sat back down on the biobed.

"Neelix, Doctor," Tom said. "Chakotay needs you. Please work on finding a way to get him back." They both nodded and left.

Tom come closer to stand by the biobed next to where she sat. He was careful not to get too close even though all he wanted to do was hold her. He had missed her so much.

"So why would you want to follow a total stranger down to the planet?" B'Elanna asked.

Tom smiled. "Because I made a promise to follow you wherever you go for the rest of my life," he said simply. "At a certain ceremony most people call a wedding."

His expressions changed. "Really though, I couldn't go through that again," he said real pain in his voice now. "We got the the randave coordinates and Voyager wasn't there. Wasn't anywhere. It felt like the world had fallen out from under me. Chakotay had to put me in the bridge to stop me from doing something stupid."

She didn't know what to say. This was a very strange kidnapping.

"Oh and," he said. "I would never abandon my daughter even if her mother doesn't remember me." She gasped.

"Computer," Tom said. "Run a DNA analysis on B'Elanna Torres's child and compare to the DNA of Tom Paris."

"Analysis complete. There is a DNA parent relationship between these two."

"Pick up that tricorder and run our own stan if you don't trust our computer," Tom said indicating the medical tricorder on the tray. "Use any piece of scanning equipment you can find make or replicate. You will get the same result

She did pick up the tricorder and repeat the scan but didn't feel the need to repeat the scan with another device. When she was done he continued.

"I am your husband," Tom said. "But they made you forget me and our life. I was on an away mission you insisted I didn't pass on and the ship's crew were taken while we were away." He paused. "I wish I could make this easier for you."

She studied his face. And found nothing but concern and love there. Technology had never lied to her before but she didn't know him.

"And if I believe you?" B'Elanna said.

"I hope the doctor will be able to help you get your memories back," Tom said. "But if he can't I will show you your life and hope you will find a way to accept that I will be here one way or the other."

"Married to a women who can't remember you?"

"Sure why not," Tom joked. "Looks like fun in the movies." He smiled and had to check himself from leaning in to hug her. "I am happy to know you are safe."

She had noticed that. From the moment he saw her he almost looked lighter. How could you fake that many unconscious expressions.

"What memories did they give you," Tom said, after a pause. He wasn't sure if he should ask but he so wanted to know. "Whose baby did you think it was?"

"I don't know," B'Elanna said. "Just some guy I met, I guess. It's kinda fuzz. Maybe I was drunk at the time."

A flash of anger showed on his face then vanished. She noticed this and realized he was mad at the people who had created that memory for her. Mad they had given her such a negative reason for her current condition.

"Will you let me help you?" He asked.

He was dedicated to her. His body language alone proved that. She didn't feel kidnapped anymore. And she had to admit having a loving and dedicated husband was a much better place to be in than knocked up by a stranger she can't remember.

"Alright," she said.

"What now doctor?" Tom asked as B'Elanna's first treatment was over.

"We have to see if it worked. You should show her some parts of her life. Furniture, log entries, her favorite food. Just to help unlock her mind and reverse what they did."

"Will do doc."

B'Elanna was starting to wake up.

"B'Elanna," Tom said softly.

"My head feels the same," she said. "No new memories."

"It will take time," Tom said. "Are you hungry?"

"Kinda," she said sitting up.

Tom lead her to the mess hall and replicated her some banana pancakes.

"How are they?"

"Good."

"How are you?"

"Slightly overwhelmed."

"That's understandable." Tom said. "The doctor suggested I should show you a few things from your life to help his treatments jog your memory."

"I see."

"But if you're not up for it that's okay," Tom said. "I don't want to overwhelm you more than you are already."

"I am kinda tired."

After breakfast Tom guided B'Elanna back to their quarters.

"You don't have to look around if you're tired," Tom said. "The bedroom is through there. And your pajamas and the rest of your clothes too. If you need anything you only have to ask." He smiled and give her privacy.

B'Elanna got dressed and laid down. She was tired but her mind was whirling. After giving up on sleep she went to the console.

"Computer access B'Elanna Torres most recent personal logs." She began to read and found most of her logs weren't all that helpful. They were technical and bored her quickly.

"Computer access any Tom Paris personal logs with relation to B'Elanna Torres."

The screen immediately filled with what looked like all of Tom's logs. Intrigued she loaded them onto a pad and read in bed till she fell asleep.

Tom went to check on B'Elanna before he fell asleep on his couch for the night. She was definitely asleep. She seemed to have fallen asleep reading. He put the pad on the table and pulled the covers over her. He did a double take on the pad. They were his personal logs. He smiled. She was definitely B'Elanna. He put the pad back on her table.

B'Elanna awake to the smell of breakfast. She got up and went into the dining area.

"Are you hungry?" Tom asked standing by the replicator.

"When did you sleep?"

"There," he said pointing to the couch.

"Why?"

"Well it's my couch," he said, joking. B'Elanna noticed he seemed to do that alot. She suspected he only joked now to conceal that fact that he had wanted to stay close to her while he slept. "I noticed what you were reading last night when I went in to check on you." He smiled.

"If you are my husband you wouldn't mind me reading your logs?" She smirked.

"Does it look like I mind?" He smiled. "What did you learn?"

"You're a sap and I write technical manuals," B'Elanna said.

Tom laughed. "Sounds about right. Sit eat."

They sat and eat.

"It doesn't like your cooking," B'Elanna said. "Kicking like crazy."

"She," Tom said.

"Oh right," B'Elanna said. "You called her your daughter earlier, didn't you."

"You didn't want to know the sex of the baby," Tom said. "But the Doctor bladed even when we asked him not to. She has my eyes and your cranial ridges."

She stared at him remembering what she had read last night. The way he had described her.

"May I," Tom said, holding his hand out toward her belly. B'Elanna nodded. If even half what she read last night is true…

Tom smiled a slight laugh escaping him as he felt his daughter kick his hand with all her might.

"That's amazing." He said.

"Haven't you felt her kick before?"

"Yeah I have but usually you aren't his cooperative," he smiled. "You call me sentimental and tell me you'd swap me in a second. Then complain that she is kicking your bladder or making your back hurt."

"I sound really mean," she said.

"Nah," Tom said. "Just tough as nails. You don't like it when I suggest you get off your feet or take it easy."

He still had his hand on her belly. He was already very close. She learned in farther compelled by a sudden need to be closer to him. He turn his gaze from his hand to her face coming towards him. He kissed her back gently. Then she pulled away.

"I am not sure why I did that." She stood up and took a few steps back. "I don't know you!"

Tom stood and backed off slowly too. "It's okay." He said. "You are safe. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Remember you started the kissing." He smiled.

"Right." She sat back down and ate some more. He sat with one chair space between them.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked.

"What do I normally do?"

"Work."

"Work?"

"Work alot."

"Where do I work?"

He took her to see engeneering that day and she did seem to remember small things about her environment. He had been right to try and steer her away from romantic stuff for now. At the end of the day she had enough treatment.

"All done," the doctor said. "See you tomorrow Lt."

Tom lead her down the hall back to their quarters.

"Good night," he said. She was in bed already. He was just turning around to head to his couch when she spoke.

"Stay with me." He turned and lay down next to her, not touching her.

"Does this feel familiar at all?"

"I'm not sure," she said. They lay in silence until finally she broke it.

"It all seems too good to be true," she said. "I mean one minute I am pregnant alone and unsure on a planet with no friends and the next I have a husband who if I am to believe loves me far more than makes any sense. I just…"

"Believe me when I say we have earned our happiness. The road we took to get here had quite a few bumped along the way. You have a temper, I rise to the occasion and we both work alot. We are lousy communicators and in general make no sense together but I wouldn't have it any other way." He paused. "I have missed you." He reached out and held her hand. She didn't resist. They fell asleep holding hands.

The next day Tom took her on a tour of her favorite holodeck programs and showed her the crew manifest pointing out all the people she was close friends with. She had another treatment and they went back to their quarters again.

"Tom," she said really noticing the old tv in her living room for the first time. "You watch cartoons."

He smiled. "Yes I do. Are you remembering that or did you read it in my logs?"

"It wasn't in your logs." She sat, walking over to the tv and touching it." The cold metal triggered another memory.

"We were in a cold place and you"-she held up her hands- "you…"

Tom put his hands around hers and breathed warmth into them just has he had done years ago when they were trapped in the cold habitat.

"I warmed them." He said. "You remembered."

"I think I am remembering something else too." She said. She leaned in and kissed him. He kissed her back cautiously, waiting for her to reaction as she had done before. She didn't. She deepened the kiss and he followed. Soon her movements becomes more intense. She was moving beyond kissing he knew. He stopped her.

"What are you doing?"

"I-" she said. "I just want…I remember…" She shook her head.

"I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with." He said firmly.

Suddenly her mind steadied. She looked up.

"I remember our wedding night," she said. "I remember you and me and I want that again. The memory is foggy and with you right here in front of me the feelings right now aren't. I want to make a new memory. With no fog."

"B'Elanna stop," Tom said gently. He hugged her tight. "Be patient. The memories will return. I know it must be over-whelming to have them returning in such a way."

She pulled out of the hug. "Why are you rejecting me?"

"I am not," Tom said. "I just don't think it's a good idea before you are totally you again."

B'Elanna embraced the hug again and a new memory formed in her mind.

"You did this once before," She said. "I wasn't myself and I propositioned you and you said no." B'Elanna sounded annoyed.

"That time was a little different," Tom said. "We weren't even dating then and you had a chemical brain imbalance. And I couldn't say no for long if I recall correctly." He smiled.

They went and sat on the couch. They had already eaten dinner. When they sat down Tom asked again if he could rest his hand on her belly.

"Why?"

"I can't wait to meet her," Tom said. B'Elanna rolled her eyes like her old self and agreed.

"I hate it when she does that," B'Elanna said a moment later when her daughter rolled over inside her. "Feels like my insides are flipping over."

"I can't even image," Tom said.


End file.
